The Energetic Drain of Hoarding (AKA Joy Comes from Within)

I do a lot of listening as I move about my days.  For me, that means learning something different by listening to audio books or podcasts or lectures.  I was struck on the first Sunday morning in July by a podcast discussing the problem with trying to achieve gratification with excessive acquisition of the external.  The statement tied in with my tentative topic of the energetic drain of hoarding.

Mayo Clinic’s definition of hoarding disorder is clear:

Hoarding disorder is an ongoing difficulty throwing away or parting with possessions because you believe that you need to save them. You may experience distress at the thought of getting rid of the items. You gradually keep or gather stuff regardless of its actual value.  

Many people think of the individuals who pack their homes and storage spaces full of items of dubious value, to the point that they can’t move or really function because of the vast accumulation of objects in their living spaces. I think of the people who derive their sense of self-worth and value from the tally and accumulation of the “things” and amount of money

they have.  Although there is a lot of emphasis on external items and markers in our society, achieving true wealth occurs when one has a firm internal sense of being grounded and values themselves as an individual.  This type of wealth awareness also requires being clear about your priorities and internal values.  Accessing this type of awareness requires a journey within, analysis of the soul, stillness and quiet.  Current American society is driven by motion and volume.  Engaging in lots of activity and noise is not conducive to achieving true inner knowing about who you are and what’s important to you, but it is distracting from critical self-analysis.  We sometimes value the external manifestation of our lives more than the internal realities of them.  Having a long to do list, a laundry list of activities one participates in to check off and the trappings of whatever is considered “success” are markers that many use to chart achievement.  In such a milieu that values external activity and engagement over internal acts, is it any wonder that social media and the blogosphere have such an iron grip on our psyche and priorities?  The problem with such an externally referenced environment is that the external values and standards always shift.  Today’s it person or item will quickly be discarded in favor of the flavor of tomorrow, and whatever accoutrements go along with the persona.  A big example is the people who are social media influencers. 

With the theory behind “influencers” being that people who have a social "hook” that garners viewers and clicks also have a marketing value. These influencers can be paid to promote and espouse various products and items, which are then promoted as things their audience should aspire to purchase and have. Influencers then get backers and companies who provide products for them to wear, exhibit and endorse (free of charge) on their various YouTube channels and blogs.  To get real old school with it, it’s a very sophisticated game of “Keeping Up with the Joneses” in terms of conveying the message that “Look what I have…don’t you want it too?’”  But the trap and hook of this is that there is always something else, something bigger to be desired, coveted or acquired, and those things have a very real external price.  So, you get that next level item.  Now what? Is there an end to the item(s) that one wants or desires? Or are you simply moving on to the next thing to get and obsessing about how to get it.  Is there actually an endpoint that is reached when one is happy?  I can’t prove it, but my guess is nope.

Years ago, I found an impactful carved wood sign when I was on a trip to Granville Island in Vancouver, Canada. I was not looking for anything in particular; just was enjoying the works in the artist shops I was in, and the conversations I had with the shop owners. 

    HAPPINESS IS YOUR NATURE.  IT IS NOT WRONG TO DESIRE IT.

WHAT IS WRONG IS SEEKING IT OUTSIDE WHEN IT IS INSIDE

                                                                                                Sri Ramana Maharshi

I loved the sign on sight, as it resonated with my core beliefs.  Turned out, it actually wasn’t for sale, but the operating credo of the artisan, who had been a student of the author of the quote.  It sparked quite another conversation when the artisan realized my resonance with and understanding of the meaning of the sign that was in a very unobtrusive area of the shop.  He said no one had even commented on it before.  We continued to have a wonderful conversation, and he offered the sign to me as a gift.  I insisted on paying for it, because of the value of the sentiment expressed in the sign, and how it resonated with me.  I still look at that sign every day.  Years later, it has a place of prominence in my bathroom, in a spot that I see every morning and night as I prepare to start and end my day.  It is an ongoing reminder that the happiness that I seek starts first within.

In 2025, that sign and the meaning behind it have made me realize something else.  There is a fundamental brokenness and emptiness at the core of hoarding.  Brokenness because hoarders (of things, of wealth, of power) have at their core a yawning abyss of nothingness that will never be filled with external accumulation of stuff or wealth or power.  The more they get, the more they want.  In America, I think it’s the core fault of calling the people who inhabit this country consumers.  To fill the void that is present when what is external is valued over core values and beliefs, means there will never be enough consumption that can fill the void.  The only way to truly assuage that ache and pain is to get still and go within and

realize our individual worth living on this earth.  When we revel in the joy of being able to get quiet and take the journey within, we discover the true priceless treasure of being able to get grounded to what is and discover the joy of who we really are at the soul level.  From the fullness, unity and grounded nature of being happy with yourself from the inside out, it’s easy look without, see the joy, wonder and perfection of the world and those we meet, and see their inherent worth and preciousness.  Those kinds of discoveries are energizing, as opposed to the drain and yawn of nothingness of ascribing value based on acquisition of stuff or money.  Happiness is never about the stuff but is always an inside job. As such, true happiness is priceless, yet something that is easily within reach of us all.